She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
