Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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