chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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