I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think i have two assholes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
