u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
