she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
