I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
