Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
