So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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