He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
