First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
