i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
