Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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