brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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