you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
