the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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