omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
