Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
