Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
