): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We have started to decorate penises.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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