My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
