Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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