this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
