At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
