Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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