u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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