I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize