So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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