Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
