Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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