Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
