WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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