Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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