Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
