I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
