Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
