he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
