? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
