Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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