so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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