is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
