omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
