seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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