Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
