Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i need some magic done to my vagina
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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