I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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