i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
