is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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