If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
