So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
