oh god the rape fog is back!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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