I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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