so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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