med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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