In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
should my penis look like a turkey
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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