He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
