I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
