i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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