Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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